They say politics is showbiz for ugly people, it would be hard to argue against this considering some political posters presently on display.
There’s nothing as creepy as people who normally don’t smile faking a smile, their rictus grin more suited in a proctologist’s surgery.
I used to wonder why some parties even bother standing in constituencies they know they’ve no chance of winning. I was informed it’s all about maximising their overall vote, but what about the poor idiots consigned to fail?
Obviously, the big hitters get the plum constituencies. I presume the political minions draw straws, conned into public humiliation with promises that their day will come.
Progression in politics is far from democratic, with party stalwarts often overlooked and outside candidates parachuted in. A current example is Colonel Tim Collins for the Ulster Unionists. I prefer to calling him Tim-but-dim Collins as his short time as a candidate has seen a series of gaffes.
He kicked off his campaign arguing against immigration and insulting nationalists saying they wouldn’t vote for a united Ireland if it meant losing their disability living allowance. Tim-but-dim would be shocked to learn that nationalists not only work but even excel in most professions.
UUP leader Doug Beattie explained his idiocy saying he hadn’t been properly briefed on party policy. I wonder what the excuse will be after the colonel’s latest gaffe regarding the price of car insurance here.
Dim Tim was astounded the cost of insuring a family car here was more than he paid insuring his Rolls-Royce back home in England. While some of those living in Holywood and Helen’s Bay will agree, I suspect constituents living in working class housing estates along the Bangor ring road will view this comparison as proof of him being out of touch.
Neither has it been a great week for one-man-band Jim Allister. Having believed he had forged a link with Reform UK he would have been thrilled at the news that Nigel Farage had taken over the party’s leadership and was to stand as a candidate.
Jim probably hoped he would be Robin to Nigel’s Batman, only to have his dreams dashed when Farage announced his intention to support the DUP’s Ian Paisley - in his own North Antrim constituency - and Sammy Wilson in the July 4 election.
I would have paid good money to have witnessed what hue of red Jims’s face turned when informed of this betrayal – my bet is a deep beetroot red.
The old joke goes, ‘You can tell a politician is lying if his lips are moving.’ This was borne out during the election debate between Rishi Sunak and Keir Starmer.
Sunak stated that a Labour government would result in every family in the UK facing a £2,000 increase in their tax bill. Starmer’s abject failure to reject this assertion resulted in many of the viewing audience accepting it as being factual.
Of course, we now know it wasn’t true, it was a bare faced lie, despite Sunak’s protestations. For a start, any such increase would occur over four years not the one Sunak was intimating.
Jim Allister probably hoped he would be Robin to Nigel’s Batman, only to have his dreams dashed when Farage announced his intention to support the DUP’s Ian Paisley - in his own North Antrim constituency - and Sammy Wilson
Worse was his claim that the £2,000 figure he quoted had come independently via the civil service. It turns out that has been rejected by the Treasury, the UK statistics authority and a previous head of the civil service.
Not that this matters, as this big a lie will have a life all its own. The inventor of the ‘big lie’ was Nazi propaganda minister Joseph Goebbels – who explained, ‘If you tell a lie big enough and keep repeating it, people will eventually come to believe it’.
We need only look to the greatest of all Tory dissemblers Boris Johnson to see this theory played out. During the Brexit debate Johnson toured the country on a bus which had a slogan emblazoned on its side which read, ‘We send the EU £350 million a week... Let’s fund our NHS instead... Vote Leave, Let’s take back control’.
It was known at the time that this was a blatant lie, but despite efforts from rival politicians, economists, the EU and others to challenge it, the £350m figure stuck in the public’s consciousness and is regarded as a defining factor in many voting leave.
While the public may forget Sunak abandoning the D-Day commemoration last week and his cringeworthy assertion of having had a deprived upbringing due to being denied Sky TV, the £2,000 tax lie – later boosted to £2,800 – is likely to stick on election day.
