Hail glorious St Patrick and hail too loyal apostles of the Bluffer’s Guide to Irish.
Desafortudamente, the Bluffer missed Lá na Féil’ Pádraig - St Patrick’s Day back home as he is presently ag déanamh bolg le gréin - sunbathing on Malagueta beach in Málaga and this piece of purple prose had to be written today (Saturday) so he can’t even report on how Malagueños are honouring Ireland’s best-loved Breathnach - a Welshman – until Harry Secombe came along, of course.
But there is a lot to be said for Pádraig mac Calprainn.
Ruaig sé na nathracha nimhe as Éirinn - he banished snakes from Ireland and thug sé an Chríostaíocht go hÉirinn - he brought Christianity to Ireland when he arrived here in 432AD.
Long before self-help books and inspirational podcasts, his career path gravitated from being a sclábhaí - a slave, aoire - a shepherd on Slemish mountain, then an a bishop and finally naomhphatrún na hÉireann - Ireland’s patron saint.
Still, the Bluffer hopes you had a great time at one of the paráideanna - parades which took place throughout Ireland and in cities across the globe.
He hopes you wore seamróg - shamrock and were head to toe in éadaí glasa - in green clothes and that you took advantage of the obscure Papal Bull that allows you to have a drink or six – despite you being ag staonadh - abstaining for Lent!
Looking out of the window of his city centre apartment, the Bluffer can see his nearest Irish pub. It’s called Neil McGregor’s.
He thinks the Andalucians have got their Gaels in a twist!
It was estimated that, in 2020, there were 2.656 Irish people living in Málaga province, most of them living in Fuengirola, which has the reputation of being one of the sunniest parts on this part of the Andalucian coast, so fair play to them.
Some places around the work get it right while some places in Ireland can get it wrong, oh so wrong.
We readily fall into plastic Paddyism and leprachaunery – which, the Bluffer admits, can be a lot of harmless fun.
Cups, well pint glasses, overflow, and total eejitry abounds so it’s fab that an ceol traidisiúnta - traditional music is becoming a major feature of 17 March in Belfast, given the quality of the music being played by new generations of singers and musicians.
Trad is also very family-centred which is why it is a perfect fit for St Patrick’s Day, although it is not exclusive.
Anyway, the Bluffer has a plan. He will dress in a green shirt (Paul Costello if you must know), white shorts and orange socks.
He will don a tartan hat with ginger hair and head to Neil McGregor’s “Irish” bar where he will speak Scottish Gaelic to all and sundry, completely flummoxing the Spanish waitresses, before heading to a local eaterie for some pigs feet and cabbage and a gallon of Guinness.
He will then watch a match on TG4 before heading to Morrissy’s “Irish” bar for a shot they call a “tricolour,” green chartreuse, Bailey’s and limoncello before staggering home, singing The Fields of Athenry at the top of his voice!
Not!
CÚPLA FOCAL
Lá na Féil’ Pádraig (laa ne fel padreeg) - St Patrick’s Day
ag déanamh bolg le gréin (eg janoo bulag le grayn) - sunbathing
Breathnach (branakh) - a Welshman
Ruaig sé na nathracha nimhe as Éirinn (rooig shay na nahraha nyiva as erin) - he banished snakes from Ireland
thug sé an Chríostaíocht go hÉirinn (hug shay un creesteeakht gaw herin) - he brought Christianity to Ireland
sclábhaí (sclaowee) - a slave
aoire (eera) - a shepherd
naomhphatrún na hÉireann (neeofatroon ne herin) - Ireland’s patron saint
paráideanna (paradgeanna) - parades
seamróg (shamrawg) - shamrock
éadaí glasa (aydee glasa) - in green clothes
ag staonadh (eg staynoo) - abstaining
pub Éireannach (pub ayranakh) - Irish pub
an ceol traidisiúnta (an kyawl tradishoonta) - traditional music