A ‘sleep divorce’ – or sleeping in separate beds – might sound like bad news for couples. But could it be the answer to our heatwave-induced sleep woes?
Of course, not everyone has the option of a spare room, or space and budget for two beds. But if it is a possibility, as unlikely as it sounds, a ‘bedtime breakup’ could actually be a positive move for your relationship.
Heat is a major sleep disruptor
“The human body has an optimal temperature range, typically around 36.1°C to 37.2°C, for initiating and maintaining sleep. This range supports the body’s natural decline in core temperature, which is an important component of the sleep process,” explains Carolina Goncalves, superintendent pharmacist at Pharmica.
“When ambient temperatures rise, the body struggles to dissipate heat effectively, which is necessary for the onset of sleep. During sleep, particularly in the stages of deep and REM sleep, the body’s ability to regulate temperature diminishes, making it more challenging to cool down when it’s hot.
“This inability to effectively lower core temperature can lead to increased awakenings and a lighter sleep state, as the body repeatedly attempts to cool itself.”
Feeling uncomfortable and sweating as the night goes on compounds the problem – and once that frustration sets in, the chances of waking up bushy-tailed and rested are long gone. Adding another sweaty, frustrated body to the mix isn’t going to help.
“The additional heat provided by another body is definitely not helpful,” says Alison Cullen, sleep expert at avogel.co.uk.
“Sharing body heat is a lifesaver in very cold conditions, and there’s nothing nicer than a warm body to drape your chilly feet over in the colder months. But when it’s hot, being close to another heat source just adds to the problem.”
Win-win situation
With a sleep divorce, this problem’s instantly eradicated. It also means you get complete control of how airy and dark the room is, what duvet to use (or not use), and sticking a leg or arm out to cool off won’t be an issue for either party.
“Sleeping apart may seem like a negative step in a relationship, but if it means better sleep for either or both of the couple, the health benefits are likely to benefit their relationship too,” says Cullen.
“Feeling rested, restored, less achy, with fewer carb cravings and more energy is a great way to start a new phase in your connection.”
In some parts of the world, it’s a lot more normal for couples to sleep in separate beds – Scandinavia, for example. And there might be other reasons for considering it, such as health conditions, having different preferences and routines, and of course, snoring – often a fast-track to misery for couples if not addressed.
You might appreciate intimacy more as a result
Goncalves agrees a sleep divorce can be beneficial – and may even bolster relationships.
“The most substantial benefit of sleeping in separate beds is a potential improvement in sleep quality for both [people], improving their collective cognitive and emotional health, and strengthening their bond as a couple,” says Goncalves. “It can also help minimise conflicts stemming from changes in mood due to a lack of sleep, potentially leading to greater relationship satisfaction and stability.
“Lastly, sleeping in separate beds can provide couples with the opportunity to appreciate the intimacy of sleeping together. The physical distance from sleeping in separate beds may enhance longing and desire for one another, contributing to a more passionate and fulfilling relationship, and increasing how meaningful the relationship is for both individuals. This can help foster deeper emotional connections and improve relationship satisfaction.”
