British general elections have nothing to do with us, so why do some parties pretend they do? - Brian Feeney

As usual a British general election throws the anomalous position of the north into sharp relief. British general elections have nothing to do with this place. They reinforce its status as an appendage to Britain. No British party participates in politics here nor is there any issue here that divides parties in Britain.

The north of Ireland is a place apart, not even an afterthought. So much so that Karen Bradley, one of the list of forgettable, clueless proconsuls sent here, had lived her whole life without knowing unionists and nationalists don’t vote for each other. Duh. She wasn’t even embarrassed to admit it. That’s how interested an English MP is. Imagine how much thought an average English person gives to the north.

Despite all that, some parties here produce manifestos that read as if they’re participating in British politics, Alliance’s being the most ridiculous for its unreality, including the claim that being elected to Westminster might enable them to change the system at Stormont unilaterally.

Mind you, the DUP manifesto adds to the pattern of unreality with their slogan, ‘Make NI work’. Er... it’s the executive that’s supposed to do that. The British government sends over money and Stormont’s job is to spend it. You can ask for more money as all the parties do, but Westminster has nothing to do with making this place work.

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Even more absurd is the DUP’s emphasis on improving the Windsor Framework which Donaldson, Robinson and Little-Pengelly spent a year failing to do. After a wasted year they claimed they had achieved, “zero checks, zero customs paperwork”, and then when it became apparent they had achieved nothing, and had misled their supporters, they denied the British had fooled them again.

Now they promise in their manifesto to start all over again. Trying to deny this loop-the-loop led to Gavin Robinson’s excruciating toe-curling performance as Mark Carruthers tied him in knots on The View last week.

What makes the DUP promise to negotiate improvements exceptionally stupid is that Labour’s manifesto promises to operate the Windsor Framework “in good faith”. Furthermore, the use of that phrase is a message to the EU that the bad faith the May-Johnson-Truss regime displayed is over. Maybe Starmer will get a veterinary agreement in 2026-7 but it’ll be nothing to do with the DUP.

What the DUP manifesto is really about, of course, is trying to maintain its position as the leading party of unionism against assaults from the TUV. They will do so easily thanks to the British first-past-the-post system and to the SDLP taking votes from the Alliance party in East Belfast.

The truth is that in the north for many years British general elections are two separate elections each aiming to establish dominance within the two ethno-political communities. For the last 20 years the answer has been the same: the DUP speaks for unionists and Sinn Féin for nationalists. The answer next Friday morning will be the same. Yes, Robin Swann is likely to take South Antrim from the DUP, but overall the prevailing pattern will remain.

What makes the DUP promise to negotiate improvements exceptionally stupid is that Labour’s manifesto promises to operate the Windsor Framework “in good faith”. Furthermore, the use of that phrase is a message to the EU that the bad faith the May-Johnson-Truss regime displayed is over. Maybe Starmer will get a veterinary agreement in 2026-7 but it’ll be nothing to do with the DUP

The election will change nothing here, and despite the extravagant claims of the parties who pretend they’re part of a British election, they will have no effect in Westminster if elected.

Indeed, if Starmer gets the predicted colossal majority they will be voices crying in the wilderness. Have you ever watched Northern Ireland questions as some minister from England answers questions in an empty House of Commons, or more often doesn’t? Talk about going through the motions.

The main outcome of the British election that will affect the north has nothing to do with whichever parties win the intra-community contests; we already know the result. Instead it’s improved relations between Dublin and London which the Conservatives did their best to wreck. It may seem counterintuitive, but better Dublin-London relations lead to better unionist-nationalist relations.